-Effy Stonem
Phoebe Chan
I am going to miss these girlies more than you could ever imagine. I may not be in the band officially, but I spend a lot of time with them, and I’ve fallen in love with all of them and how special they each are; they’ve truly, each one of them, changed me for good. I’m who I am today because I knew them. (Wow, I’m really so happy I was able to sing For Good for the 3rd period band class because, although it was dedicated to the seniors, I was really singing it for Elizabeth, Kirstin, Melanie, Raven, Kookie and Bailee in particulars. The lyrics meant so much to me to sing to them. “Now whatever way our stories end, I know you have rewritten mine by being my friend.”) I wish I had another year to get even closer to them. Thank goodness Danaly and Michelle will still be here - but it still makes my heart ache knowing I won’t see these beautiful, amazing people on a daily basis anymore. I know I keep being cheesy and saying this stuff over and over, but I can’t help it. These people are amazing and really, all of my fondest memories have been with them and the whole band and I’ll never forget how amazing the years have been spent with their lurvely facesss, haha ♥ It’s been a rollercoaster, and we’ve grown so much since we all first met. But here we are and they’re graduating and I’m going to be a freakin junior, OTL!
I wish them all the best, in every possible way. I love them I love them I love them, I wish I could tell the whole world how wonderful they are!! Goodbyes are so hard but I’ll always remember the memories we shared, they’ll live on in my heart for years and years and years to come.
I honestly think for every person all it takes is one thing, even the smallest of things, to make it all just click inside of your head and say, I’m done with this. I’m sick of all of this and I’m ready for it to be okay again.
Tomorrow I’m going to SMTOWN (!!) and I’m kind of flipping out… It’s really hard to imagine that I’ll be in LA breathing the same fucking air as the people I admire the most, oh my God, haha. I think that’s why I’m not screaming right now, cause I don’t believe it! It will probably dawn on me in the morning and I’ll be like, HOLY MOSES and run around in circles. I don’t even know what I will wear. What will I wear? My yellow pants maybe? But I don’t know where my necklace that matches with it is, aslkfhsdklhg, I’ll clean my whole room just to find it and it’ll end up being downstairs or something. It’ll be cool just to be surrounded by kpop fans from all around California. When I see SNSD, I don’t know how I will deal with it. I hope I don’t pass out. I’ll probably cry. I’ve always wanted to see them in concert, but I really didn’t think it would ever happen. Then one day my mom just randomly texted me asking if I wanted to go with Stephanie. I didn’t believe it at first, lol I still don’t, wtf. Stephanie’s lovely mother bought me a ticket and we’re all driving down there tomorrow morning.
I’ve never been to a real concert before. I’ve been to a Celtic Woman concert when I was like, 8 - but the audience was literally either babies, toddlers, or old women and men. It was nice. Something tells me this audience will not be the same, though. LOL.
(Btw, Stephanie, there is no one I would rather share watching our bias groups live than YOU. As you said TOMORROW TOGETHER LET’S DO THIS. askjfh, lol ; w;)
I’m really excited because, well, yesterday was amazing first of all. Warm and fuzzies all around from my beautiful Peer Mediation family. ♥ When Tiffany started speaking, I knew right away it was me. I couldn’t stop smiling, I just wanted to cry she said such nice things about me. When I hugged her and everyone went, “Awwww,” and ran up to hug us, I knew then that we all truly love and care about each other. I’m going to miss them next year like you wouldn’t believe. It’s moments like those that you really feel appreciated, and special, and you don’t get moments like that very often outside of that brilliant class. I can’t wait until the next year’s students get to experience that warmth. ♥
Anyways, so tomorrow’s the concert - once I finish my English project tonight I can finally feel free - and then both the choir concert and Pops Concert will be next week. I don’t care much for the choir concert, but Pops Concert I just can’t wait for. And I can’t wait for graduation, while at the same time I know it’ll be totally emotional. Band banquet also comes up after that~~ and next week I’ll be singing to PM and the band, omg I’m so scared >~< must do my best to make them proud ;u; And, oh! Over the break! The Del Mar Fair! Which hopefully I’ll show to Elizabeth. Man, there’s just a lot to look forward to. I have so many feels. I’m so excited!! Right now I couldn’t be happier. Unless I was with my friends while typing this, but hey, I’m happy with what I have LOL. Actually, I know what would make me happier. IF I HAD A KITTEN. I want a kitty to love and hold and play with. UGH. ONE DAY, OKAY. ONE DAY.
And now I’ll reblog a few more nice pictures C: Happy Saturday e’rybody!
I am just FILLED TO THE BRIM WITH ENDORPHINS!
I have so many lovely friends and I’m so grateful, I’ll never forget all the amazing people I met this year and I wish them all the happiness in the world. I’ll miss them so much. And I’ll miss my Peer Mediation class more than I could express in words. I’m the youngest in the class and they all treat me with such love and kindness. They always support me, I know I can always count on them to make me smile. I have been changed for good, all because of them. It’ll be rough without them; but I’ll always remember this day, and all the smiles and hugs and sweet words and I’ll know it’s going to be okay :)
I just couldn’t express in words how thankful I am to have known them all. My second family, my Peer Mediation class. And all of the friends I became closer to this year - they’re so amazing, and they really believe in me even if I worry sometimes that they don’t. I’ve really realized how much they care, how much I mean to them as well. I love them all, from the bottom of my heart, and I thank them for helping me to be strong and for bringing me back to earth and for showing me how to laugh again. I thank them for all the times they took care of me and believed in me when I didn’t believe in myself. There’s so much I wish I could say to them and thank them for, I just want to tell them how lovely each one of them are and how much they mean to me. Maybe I can’t express it in words, but I hope they know that I adore them, I’ll never forget them, and they’ve changed my life for good. ♥
You know what, you’re just one huge mindfuck, aren’t you?
This is pointless. I’m sorry for what I did, before, I was a bitch, but right now I’m being completely serious when I say, if I did everything I fucking could do to show you it would be okay and you still refuse to reconsider, you still refuse to even think of it any other way, then I don’t want to be a part of your life anymore. You screw me over, when all I want is to love you and show you it’s changed, it’s different, I’m different, you just won’t give me a chance and you know what, that’s the worst thing of all. I don’t like admitting that you’re right, but you are right, I deserve someone else. Someone who will fucking chase after me for once.
Oh. Today and yesterday were actually okay days. I don’t know how or why but I’m glad they were cause I need some days that are okay. I’m going to the dance concert tonight. I can’t wait C: I love watching dancers. And dancers are just such interesting people, lol. They’re so expressive.
And I don’t know, maybe I can visit J&J Fancy this weekend, and go to Chick-Fil-E with Phoebe, and watch a Japanese movie for my college class. And I can draw more people smoking. I had a dream last night about cigarettes so I decided to start drawing people holding them… I tried showing some friends but they almost all took it the wrong way. It’s just artistic to me…
And I guess I should finish Skins, finally, and then actually read some more of my book.
I have to go now. Here’s to okay days.
And to cream soda. I LOVE CREAM SODA. OTL
